杰西驾到_易用美剧剧本台词字幕音频视频

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#杰西驾到# 美剧推荐《杰茜驾到》第1季第1集中英文剧本台词对白字幕-看美剧学英语

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杰茜驾到 第一季的剧情简介 ? ? ? ? ? ?


  该剧讲述年轻男女的爱情,特别是“性政治”(男权和女权之争)。Zooey Deschanel(Emily Deschanel的妹妹)在剧中扮演生性乐观的小学教师Jessica,但她的爱情总是一团糟。在和男友分手之后,她与三名性格幼稚的男子住到一起:爱喝酒的大块头Schmidt(Max Greenfield),整天穿运动裤的体型教练Coach(Damon Wayans Jr.)和酒吧男招待Nick(Jake M. Johnson)。 
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推荐美剧从第二集开始添加音频

《杰茜驾到》
第一季 第一集
你们知道恐怖片里 女生都这样
So, you know in horror movies when the girls like,
天哪 地下室有东西
"Oh, my god. Theres something in the basement.
让我就穿着内衣冲下去
Let me just run down there in my underwear
看看黑暗中会发生什么
and see whats going on, in the dark."
你就会说 "你什么毛病啊 快报警"
And youre like, "What is your problem?! Call the police!"
她会说好吧 但已经太迟了
And shes like, "Okay," But its too late,
因为她已经被谋杀了
Because shes already getting murdered.
我的故事差不多就是这样
Well, uh... my storys kind of like that.
两周前
这是给斯潘塞的惊喜
Its a surprise for Spencer.
我进去后 会把衣服脱了丢地上
Im just gonna walk in, and Im gonna drop my coat on the ground.
他曾经说过有过这种性幻想
He says he has this fantasy
我是脱衣舞娘 心地善良
that Im a stripper with a heart of gold
他资助我读完了大学
and hes helping me put myself through college.
大学这部分不是他说的吧
He didnt say the college part, did he?
不是 我要创建一个立体的性角色
Um, no. I-I wanted to create a 3-dimensional sex character.
是嘛 你这舞娘艺名叫什么
Really? Whats your stripper name?
丽贝卡?约翰逊
Uh... Rebecca Johnson.
叫丽贝卡?约翰逊的脱衣舞娘?
Your stripper names Rebecca Johnson?
咪咪约翰逊 双峰约翰逊
Boobies Johnson. T-two boobs Johnson.
瞧你 坐在计程车后排 全身赤裸
Look at you, in the back of a cab, totally naked.
真为你骄傲
I am so proud of you.
在家吗
Hello?
我提前回来了
I came home early.
杰茜 你怎么...
Jess! What --
杰茜是谁
Whos Jess?
你面前的是
Youre talking to...
波霸妹
Tiger Boobs.
瞧我多性感
Im doing sexy things
怀抱枕头
With a pillow
这个...
This --
她正在卖弄性感
Shes doin sexy stuff
手握树叶
To the plant right --
好了
Okay.
我会等下再扶起来
Ill pick that up later
这女孩是谁
Whos that girl? ?
这女孩 是谁
Whos that g-I-I-I-irl?
杰茜驾到
Its Jess!
就是这样
So, that happened.
所以我要另找住处
Thats why I need a new apartment.
不好意思 你问什么来着
Im sorry. What was the question, again?
你有养宠物吗
Do you have any pets?
说来挺好笑
You know, its funny.
我在网上看到你们的招租广告时
When I saw your ad on craigslist,
以为你们是女人
I thought you were women.
你为什么会这样想 太疯狂了
Why would you think that? Thats crazy.
我可是写得...
I mean, well, I made the --
广告是施密特写的
Schmidt wrote the ad.
我想可能是措词方面的问题吧
Oh, I guess it was something about the words you used.
有点 有点
It was like, uh, like...
沐浴在阳光中 色调米黄
"Sun-soaked and beige-y."
你在干什么
What are you doing?
这样呢 看起来是米黄色吗
What about these? These look beige-y to you?
抱歉
Sorry.
我是他的健身教练 所以
Im his trainer, so, uh...
这可是我这位教练的功劳
Its kind of the house that Coach built right here.
我们这是在看什么 细皮嫩肉吗
What are we looking at here? Thats baby-smooth.
这是"LLS" 女人都爱施密特
This is L.L.S. -- "Ladies love Schmidt."
什么 你说什么
What?! What did you just say?
放一块钱到罐子里
Go put a dollar in the jar right now.
- 你说真的吗 -是的 马上放钱
- Are you serious? - Yeah! Now!
见鬼
Damn it.
LLS 你什么毛病
"L.L.S."? What is wrong with you?
这公寓好漂亮 光线充足
This place is beautiful. It gets so much light.
斯潘塞讨厌阳光
Spencer hated light.
提到这名字就难受
Its hard to say his name.
没事 尼克了解你 他被甩了
Its okay. Nick knows. He got dumped.
被甩 是啊 我被甩了
"Dumped"? Yeah, I got dumped.
我听不到你说什么 这代表我们不是在分手
I cant hear you! That means were not breaking up!
- 是的 我们在分手 -我听不到就不能分手
- Yes, were breaking up. -We cant break up if I cant hear you!
我要跟你分手
Im breaking up with you.
我需要冷静一段时间
I need some time away...
没错 我被甩了
Yeah, I got dumped.
她把我甩了
She dumped me.
我早想通了
And Im over it.
这是半年前的事了 哥们儿
Okay? It was six months ago, guys.
别再提了
Get past it!
真不知道还提这个干什么
I dont even know why were still talking about it!
为什么大家都看着我
Why is everybody looking at me?!
知道吗 我想住这里
You know what? I want to live here.
其实 我还有些问题
Actually, I-I still have some questions.
无意冒犯 可我们根本不认识你
I mean, like, no offense, but we barely know you.
没错 好的
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
我来个大坦白
So, um... full disclosure.
因为分手的关系 我现在可能很情绪化
Im kind of emotional right now cause of the breakup,
所以我可能会看《辣身舞》
So Ill probably be watching "Dirty Dancing"
一天看个六七遍
at least six or seven times a day.
我是老师
Um, Im a teacher,
我会带回家很多冰棒棍子
so I-I bring home a lot of popsicle sticks,
乱七八糟的东西
stuff like that.
还有 我经常以唱代说
Also, I like to sing to myself a lot.
经常
A lot
我不想和我的朋友住了
Im tired of living with my friend.
她是模特 她所有的朋友都是模特
Shes a model. All her friends are models.
你什么时候能搬进来
Uh, how soon can you move in?
- 施密特 悠着点 -不可能
- Actually, Schmidt, slow up. - Not happening.
等我们一下
Okay, uh, can you give us a second?
我要去 去和小弟们聊聊
I just got to -- got to talk to my boys.
小弟们 这什么话
"My boys" is not a thing around here.
- 弟兄们 行了吧 -放钱吧你
- My bros, okay? - Okay, douchebag jar.
这也罚钱 "弟兄们"而已
For what? For "My bros"?
我同意她搬进来 她的朋友是模特
Im gonna say yes. Her friends are models.
明白吗 模特
Okay, you guys? Models.
我不同意
I say no.
我只想下班回家 可以坐在沙发上
I need to be able to come home from work, sit on my couch,
随心所欲 自由自在
and let my beans out, let them breathe!
尼克 你的是关键票
Nick, its all you, buddy.
首先 我要说
Well, first, let me say
我觉得两位的观点都不错
I think you guys make some really interesting points,
我很尊重你们的意见 但我要说
Points that I respect, but I will say this.
我曾经和女人住过 卡洛琳 你们知道的
I have lived with a woman -- Caroline, as you guys know --
所以我知道 与女人同住有好处
And so I know that there are pros
也有不可忽视的坏处
and I know that there are real cons, guys.
尼克 你真没用
Nick, youre weak!
好处 她们很香
Okay, pro -- they smell nice.
坏处
Cons --
每隔一段时间 就会喜怒无常
Every once in a while, the mood changes,
你也弄不懂为什么
and youre not sure why.
由着她们 你的人生就完了
Theyll ruin your life if you let them.
说不定想死的心都有
Theyll break down your will to live.
好处 她们很会叠衣服
Pros -- theyre really good at folding.
- 快决定 -抱歉 知道吗
- Make a decision! - Im sorry. You know what?
可是好像还有好处 比如说...
But, like, another pro -- like, when you, like --
别这样 别这样 放下帽子
Oh, dont do it. Dont do it. Put it down.
别以为罩起来就完事
Dont -- dont hood me.
你们不知道自己在说什么
You guys dont know what youre talking about.
别罩起来 拜托别罩起来
Dont hood me. Please dont hood me.
我知道自己在说什么
Okay. I know what Im talking about.
逼得他太紧了
Okay. Pushed him too hard.
的确是逼太紧了 见鬼
We did pushed him too hard. Damn it.
行政决策 同意她住进来
Executive decision -- shes in.
太好了 我可以住进来了
Yay! Im in!
你们不会后悔的
You are not gonna regret this.
你做了什么好事 施密特
What have you done, Schmidt?
我得挂了 妈
I got to go mom.
没有 我没看《辣身舞》
No, Im not watching "Dirty Dancing."
不 我不觉得
No, I dont think so.
你会谋杀我吗
Hey, are you gonna murder me
因为你是我在网上碰到的陌生人
cause youre a stranger I met on the internet?
我会的
Yes, I am.
他说不会
He says no.
不会 我得挂了
No, look, I got to go, okay?
好的 爱你 拜
All right. Love you. Bye.
狂野西部派对是在周六
So, the wild west partys on Saturday.
我想把咱们弄进去 可是
Im trying to get us in, but...
可能你要打给卡洛琳
You may need to call Caroline.
我不会打电话给卡洛琳
Im not calling caroline.
- 听我说 -安静
- Now, hear me out-- - Shh!
我生命中的美好时光
Had the time of my life
因为你 我们如今才这么惨
We are in this situation because of you.
我恨你的样子 斯潘塞 我爱你
I hate your face, Spencer! I love you!
疯狂已经持续一星期了
It has been a week of this madness.
我快疯了 施密特 我受不了了
Im going crazy, Schmidt. I cant take it.
知道吗 我来处理
You know what? I got this.
你好 教练
Hi, Coach.
别这样
Stop it.
不许这样
Stop!
施密特
Schmidt!
好的 没问题
Okay. All right.
我连累大家 我来解决
I got us into this. Im gonna get us out.
杰茜 遥控器给我
Jess, Im gonna take the remote.
好了 好了 杰茜
All right. All right. Hey, Jess.
感觉如何
How you doin?
你看上去棒极了
You look fantastic.
今晚和我们一起出去如何
Listen, what if you came out with us tonight?
下班后
You know, after work.
我们帮你打扮下 带你出去
You know, well fix you up. Well take you out.
我们要让你重回情场
Well get you a rebound.
重回情场
A rebound?
没错
Yeah.
我不知道自己准备好没
I dont know if Im ready.
你绝对准备好了
Youre totally ready for it.
我会挺你的
Ill take you through the whole thing.
我会 我会做你的指引
You know, Ill be -- Ill be like your guide.
就像中土世界的甘道夫
Like Gandalf through middle earth?
可能不像
Probably not like --
好吧 首先 我们
Okay, first of all, lets just --
我们就引用《魔戒》吧
Lets take the "Lord of the rings" references --
咱们把它们放在又深又黑的洞里
Lets put them in a deep, dark cave, okay,
永远不会有人找到它们
where no ones gonna find them -- ever.
除了咕噜姆
Except Smeagol.
他住在山洞里
He lives in a cave.
这样吧 杰茜 来吧
You know what, Jess? Come on.
别再躺在沙发上了 起来
Lets just take the head off the -- off the couch.
快点 坐起来 美女
Come on. Sit up, girl.
这就对了
There you go.
看看 是不是感觉很好
Look at that. Doesnt that feel good?
这就对了
There we go.
我觉得你的计划不错
I think that sounds nice.
她要重回情场了
Shes goin out to find a rebound
这女孩是谁 杰茜驾到喽
Whos that girl? Its Jess!
你刚给自己创作了主题曲吗
Wait. Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
我会处理的
I-Im gonna fix it.
我不会给前女友打电话把你们弄进派对的
Im not calling my ex-girlfriend to get you into a party.
这个派对对我来说太重要了
This party is everything to me.
拜托了 尼克 我们每年都去的
Please, Nick. We go every year.
你根本不知道我在工作时的遭遇
You have no idea what Im going through at work.
我只想工作
Im just trying to do my work!
我只想好好工作
Im trying to do a good job here!
领带不错 可以借个卫生棉条给我吗
Nice tie. Can I borrow a tampon?
- 施密特 我不会打的 -听我说
- Schmidt, Im not calling her. - Listen to me.
我每年都会参加
Knowing every year that I will be going
狂野西部扶贫慈善拍卖会
to the wild wild west charity auction for poverty
就是要提醒自己 无论如何 我还是个男人
reminds me that no matter what, Im still a man.
我可以胸袭美女
And I can still motorboat a hot girl
而且还是印第安美女
who is also a member of the cherokee nation,
这不是种族歧视 我有很好的理由
Which is not racist, because it is for a good cause.
浴室有人
Somebodys in here!
十分钟后出发 你刮腿毛了吗
Were leaving in 10 minutes. Did you shave your legs?
现在刮
I will now.
前后都刮?
Front and backs?
- 是的 -谢谢
- Yes. - Thank you.
- 我真不想活了 -给卡洛琳打电话
- Im gonna kill myself now. - Just call Caroline.
你每次喝醉了都会打给她
You call her all the time when youre drunk.
我不知道你在说什么
I-I dont know to what you are referring.
你好 卡洛琳
Ello, Caroline.
我还耐着你
I still love you.
好耐
So much.
好耐
So much.
我不会打给她的
Im not calling her.
施密特 我知道你真的很想去这个派对
Schmidt, I know you really want to go to this party,
可这样不是更好吗
but wouldnt it be better
找到一个你真正想胸袭的女生
to find a girl who you really care about to motorboat?
也许 如果你够幸运
Then maybe, if youre super-lucky,
你可能会找到一个反过来胸袭你的女生
you might find a girl who will motorboat you right back.
看来她不懂胸袭的意思
I dont think she knows what motorboating is.
杰茜 五分钟后出门
Jess! We are leaving in five!
- 嘿 -教练 什么事
- Hey. - Hey, Coach, whats --
对不起
Sorry.
我老板说我不懂怎样和女人说话
Uh, m-my boss says that I dont know how to talk to women,
真是荒唐
Which is ridiculous.
给我流汗 女人 运动流汗
Sweat, woman! Sweat!
- 我在流汗 -快
- Aah! Im sweating! - Go!
- 你好凶 -我不凶
- Youre so mean! - Im not mean!
我想帮你 我想帮你
Im trying to help you! Im trying to help you!
所以我琢磨着 也许你可以帮我
So I was wondering if you could, uh, help me out with that.
当然 没问题
Sure. Sure. Absolutely.
这个嘛 首先
Um, well, first of all,
想想女人喜欢聊什么
maybe think about what women like to talk about.
比如说... 用我作练习对象吧
You know, like -- use me for practice.
好吧
All right, um...
购物
Shopping.
你们会觉得有意思吗
Is that fun for you guys?
购物很有意思
Yeah, shoppings fun.
那天 我买了一条紧身裤
Uh, the other day, I bought a pair of jeggings.
看起来像牛仔裤 其实是紧身打底裤
They look like jeans, but theyre really leggings.

You...

I...
关我屁事
Who cares?!
抱歉
Sorry.
做得好
Um, good job.
有些地方可以改进下
Uh, a couple things you could work on.
第一 别太大声
Uh, one -- lowering your voice.
好的
Right on.
第二 学会倾听
Um, two -- listening.
第三 别发火
Uh, three -- rage.
当然了
Absolutely.
第四
Um, four --
你的头发着火了
Your hair is on fire.
啤酒 粉红佳人
Beers and a ros?
桃红葡萄酒让我 放荡
Pink wine makes me... slutty.
哇 帅哥警报
Whoa. Cute-guy alert.
杰茜 开始钓帅哥了
Okay, Jess, game time. Lets do this.
你要忘掉斯潘塞
You want to forget about Spencer,
就得做点非常坏 非常坏的事
youre gonna have to do some very, very bad things...
对象就是那里的帅哥
With that man right over there.
要多坏
How bad?
非常坏 杰茜 非常坏
Real bad, Jess. Real bad.
亲热一番 半裸
Like, uh, make-out session, no tops.
好的 这样做 你要这样做
Okay, this is what -- this is whats gonna happen.
过去那边
Y-youre gonna go over there.
站在他身边 冲他笑
Youre gonna stand next to him, and youre gonna smile.
不是这样笑
Youre not gonna smile like that.
你像只肚饿的獾
You look like a hungry badger.
不准这样
Stop that.
好的 我能行的 能行的
O-okay, I got this. I got this.
你能行的 把他钓到手
You got -- you got it. Just go make it happen.
好好表现
Get em up! Grind it out!
上吧 好好表现
Go do it! Grind it out!
水手哥
Hey, sailor.
好的 很好
Oh. All right. Thats okay.
接着加油
You can come back from that.
也许他没听到 没问题的
Maybe he didnt hear that.Youre all good.
妈呀 是施密特
Holy Schmidt! Its Schmidt!
居然碰到本杰明了
Oh, it is all about the Benjamin!
- 咋样 -咋样 兄弟
- Whats up?! - Whats up, man?
很好 白脸仔 咋样哥们儿
All right. P-funk, whats up, dude?
这是教练
This is Coach.
咋样 教练
Whats up, coach?
喜欢派对吗
You like parties?
别跟我说话
Dont talk to me.
好的
Yeah, okay.
知道谁最喜欢派对吧
You know who likes to party hard, right?
这么说 周六你会去
So, you coming on Saturday?
我听说可是有不少美女哦
I hear theres gonna be some fine ladies there.
可能去吧
Uh, maybe. Yeah.
听说今年不太好哦
I heard its not gonna be that good this year. No?
没邀请你吗
Are you not on the list?
邀请了 你知道的
Man, Im on the...list. You know that.
太扫兴了
Ah, that sucks, man.
别垂头丧气的
Keep your head up, all right?
没问题
All right, playa.
该干嘛干嘛吧 见到你很高兴
Do your thing, man. It was good seeing you.
好了 白脸仔 回见了
All right, man. P-funk, always.
- 尼克 求你了 -你怎么和那种人做朋友
- Nick, please. - Why are you friends with those guys?
尼克 拜托你把我弄进派对
Nick, please get me in the party.
我求你了
Im begging you, please.
我不会打电话给卡洛琳的
No, Im not calling Caroline.
你知道我是多可爱的牛仔吗 你知道吗
Do you know what a cute cowboy I am? Do you have any idea?
看来我可以隐藏自己疯狂的一面
Well, I guess I cant hide my crazy.
我觉得你隐藏得不够卖力
I dont think youre trying that hard.
这方面我向来不拿手
Well, Ive never really been great at this stuff, so...
如果上帝就在我们之中
What if god was one of us?
让她闭嘴
Make it stop!
也和我们一样蠢
Just a slob like one of us
看看咱们 一对失意人
Look at us -- couple of losers.
都被甩了
We both got dumped.
老天
Geesh.
我没事
Im fine.
都过去半年了
It was six months ago, so...
你知道她为什么甩你吗
Do you know why she dumped you?
她肯定把你伤得很深
I mean, she must have hurt you pretty bad.
不不 我无所谓
No, no. It made no difference to me.
我只想把她的垃圾桶给烧了
I just wanted to set her trash cans on fire.
所以你就一直在纳闷 到底怎么了
So youre always just, like, wondering, like, "What was it?
我是不是可以做得更好呢
Was there something I could have done differently?"
你知道把什么都憋心里的人会怎样吗
You know what happens to people who keep it all inside?
会变老 会悲伤 会变得古怪
They get old and they get sad and they get weird,
等你真老了 你就会冲着穿你家院子的
and then youre the old man, and youre yelling at the kids
孩子们大吼
who are running across your yard,
你会说 不准穿我家院子
and youre telling them, "Dont run across my yard.
我的人生满是遗憾
My lifes filled with regret."
你不能这样假装什么都没有发生
You know, you cant just pretend like it didnt happen.
或者我可以向你学习 杰茜
Or I could pretend to be more like you, Jess,
住在耀眼的彩虹上
And live on a sparkly rainbow
骑着独角兽乱晃 整天唱个不停
and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
我觉得你应该整天唱个不停
Yeah, I think you should sing all the time.
不 我是在讽刺你 我不会这样的 杰茜
No, I was being mean. Im not gonna do that, Jess.
为什么不 很好玩的
Why not? Its fun.
因为我是个大老爷们儿
Because I have a penis.
我叫尼克 我是个大老爷们儿
My name is Nick ? I have a penis
我把一切情绪都埋在心里
And Im not gonna let any feelings out
好了 杰茜
Okay, Jess...
你左边的咪咪放在一盘鸡翅上
Your left boob is resting on a plate of chicken wings.
是的 我知道
Yeah. I know.
你好
Hey.
我叫皮特
Im Peter.
你在喝什么
What are you drinking?
再来一杯桃红葡萄酒
Oh, Ill have another pink wine.
我喜欢你的眼镜
I like your glasses.
它们让我能看见
They help me see.
她表现不错
Shes doing all right.
小施同志
Schmidt stain!
兄弟 我在想
Hey, man, I was thinking --
你不去派对是件好事
Its probably better that you dont come to the party.
美女都归我了
That means more breasts for me.
你最好给我闪 小子
You better step down, son.
想玩过分的是吧
Youre taking this whole thing too far.
我让你... 快拉住我 教练
Im seri-- hold me back, Coach.
我认真的 拉住我 拉住我
I-Im serious. Hold me back. Hold me back!
- 教练 拜托你拉住我 -不
- Coach, would you please hold me back? - No.
施密特 去派对没问题 放轻松
Schmidt, were going to the party. Relax.
很好 到时见 小施
Nice. See you there, Schmidty.
一定的 好兄弟
Ah, totally, broseph!
我给卡洛琳发了短信
Yeah, I texted Caroline.
你给卡洛琳发了短信
You texted Caroline?
没什么大不了的
Its no big deal.
我已经放下了 都过去了
Its behind me. Its in the past, so...
谢谢 我爱你 哥们儿
Thank you. I love you, bro.
没什么
Yeah. There it is.
你刚亲了我胳膊一下吗
Did you just kiss my arm a little?
当然了 不亲不行
You bet I did. It felt right.
明天见了 水手妹
So, Ill see you tomorrow, sailor.
酷 我会打给你 酷
Yeah, cool. Ill call -- cool.
明天会怎样 水手妹
Whats happening tomorrow, sailor?
知道吗 你们说得太对了
You know what? You guys were totally right.
我说话简洁 没有唱歌
I talked in short sentences, I didnt sing,
我大笑 微笑 说我需要重回情场的性爱
I laughed, I smiled, I said I needed rebound sex,
太有用了 他约了我
and it totally worked. He asked me out.
晚餐 大吃一顿
Dinner...with food.
- 真为你骄傲 -钓到帅哥了 美女
- Im so proud of you. - You got it, girl.
做得好 给自己弄了个
You did good. Yeah, you put it...
约会
Date!
杰茜驾到
Its Jess!
势不可挡
Shes on fire
势不可挡
Shes on fire
内裤不小啊
She got some big panties!
要告诉她吗
All right, should we tell her?
让她自己再乐会儿吧
Ah, I think we let her have her moment.
鞋子合适吗 杰茜
Do the shoes fit, Jess?
我没事
Im okay!
你是模特吗
What, are you a model or something?
是的
Yeah.
大多数是平面广告
Yes, mostly print right now, so...
你叫什么 希希 希西莉亚
What is it -- Cece? Cecelia?
恰恰莉亚
"Chechelia"?
告诉我 你的希望与梦想是什么
Tell me, what are your hopes and dreams?
觉得热吗 我有点 我现在有点热
You know, are you warm? Im a little Im a little warm right now.
别这样 施密特
Dont, Schmidt.
好了
All right.
这样感觉才爽
Oh, yeah, there it is.
拜托你把衣服穿上
Please put your shirt back on.
拜托别让我嘲笑你
Please dont make me laugh at you.
要我给你来点茶吗 花茶
Can I hit you up with some tea? A little herb tea?
我的天
Oh, my god.
听起来不错吧 是不
How good is that? For real. What?
来点薄荷茶
Little p-mint tea?
好喝啊
Yum, right?
又热又甜
Hot, sweet.
来点茶包
Little tea-bag action.
我不是说...
I wasnt talking about...
受不了了
There it is.
交钱吧
Douchebag.
听我说 各位
Listen to me, you guys.
杰茜是我认识的人中最好的
Jess is by far the best person that I know.
如果你们让她有任何不快活
So if you guys let anything happen to her,
我会来这儿把你们宰得干干净净
Im gonna come here and crazy murder you.
我得跟你说实话
Im gonna be honest with you.
你刚才的话我一句没听见
I did not hear a word that you just said,
你露点了知不知道
cause I can kinda see your party hats right now.
交钱吧你
Here you go.
杰茜
Jess!
你为什么要这样说话
Why are you talking like this?
- 高跟鞋让我摔倒了 -好了 没事的
- I fell off my heels. - Okay. All right.
快点 起来吧
No. Come on. Get up.
我在做什么啊
Oh, what am I doing?
我不能去约会 如果很糟糕怎么办
I cant go on a date. What if its horrible?
如果我什么也没得说
What if I have nothing to talk about?
那你就去洗手间 打电话给我
Then you go to the bathroom and you call me
告诉我一切
and you tell me all about it.
我还是不去算了
Maybe I just shouldnt go.
宝贝 失恋受伤很正常
Babe, you got hurt.
你不能因此就不再恋爱了
That doesnt mean you stop trying.
好吗
Okay?
好的 出发吧 快点
Okay. Lets go. Come on.
工装裤得换掉
You got to take off those overalls.
我是想着打扮成
I was going for, like, a...
性感农场主之女的风格
Like a "Hot farmers daughter" kind of thing.
就这样
You know, like...
我要去挤牛奶
"Im going to go milk my cows...
带桶去
With my bucket."
脱掉
Take them off.
好吧
Okay.
那我穿什么
What am I gonna wear?
多谢夸奖 教练
Thanks, Coach.
她真会煞风景
And then she does that.
我要发短信给他 告诉他我出门了
Im gonna text him, tell him Im headed over.
等等 你有发短信给他吗
Wait. Have you been texting him?
不好吗
Is that bad?
不 很好
No. Its nice.
祝你今晚开心
Have a good night.
肯定会不错的
This is gonna be great.
教练 我觉得你不像印第安人
Coach, you dont look anything like an indian.
听着 我挺你 你也得挺我
Look, man, I got your back. You got to have mine, too.
教练 我有挺你啊
Coach, I got your back.
不 尼克 我要他说
No, Nick, I want to hear it from him.
教练 哪门子印第安人会穿单车裤
Coach, what sort of indian wears bike shorts?
打扰下 卡洛琳在吗 我找她
Excuse me, is, uh, Caroline -- Im looking for Caroline.
我们在受邀名单上
Were supposed to be on some list.
你好 尼克
Hey. Nick.
就是她
Thats her.
抱歉 戴着这么傻的东西
Sorry. Im wearing this stupid thing.
施密特逼我的
Schmidt made me do it.
谢谢你把我们弄进去
Thank you so much for getting us in.
不客气
Yeah. No problem.
如果想报答我 就不要再打怪里怪气的电话
Um, maybe to pay me back, you can stop prank-calling me.
什么
What?
你好 卡洛琳
Ello, Caroline.
我还耐着你 耐着
I still loves you, I do.
你得搞清楚
Yeah, you got to figure that out.
看来有疯子打电话给你
Some crazy persons calling you.
你很漂亮 真高兴见到你
You look nice. Its good to see you.
我想我这里的工作已经完了
I-I think Im almost finished out here if you --
你想去喝一杯吗
Do you want to go... grab a drink?
- 想 -想吗
- Yeah. - Yeah?
当然想了
Sure. Yeah.
我们去喝一杯 很正常的说
Lets you and I just get a drink, be normal about it.
可是等等 抱歉 我想
Actually, hold on. Im sorry. I just --
我得问你个事儿 这样以后
I have to ask you something so that one day
我不会成为满是遗憾的老头子
Im not an old man filled with regret.
你为什么甩我
But why did you dump me?
我们要在这里说这个吗 现在?
Do -- okay, are we doing this here, like, now?
是的
Yeah.
你为什么甩我
Why did you dump me?
说实话 我感觉不到你在乎我
Honestly, I-I didnt even realize that you cared about me
分手前没感觉到
until we broke up.
好的
Okay.
我们去喝一杯吧
Lets get that drink.
不错嘛 小家伙们
Get along, little doggie!
你们好呀 小伙子
Well, howdy, there, muchachos.
杰茜在哪儿
Hey, wheres Jess?
哥们儿 她发了七条短信给我
Oh, dude, she texted me seven times --
废话连篇
Like, long ones.
我只想泡个妹睡睡
I just wanted to hook up.
她在等你出现 还是你已经打给她了
So, is she waiting for you to show up, or did you call her?
是啊 没错 我打给她了
Yeah, thats what I did. I called her.
保持联络 施密特
Stay in touch, Schmidt !
尼克
Nick.
去喝一杯吗
Want to get that drink?
不 我得去帮一个朋友 卡洛琳
No, I got to go help a friend, Caroline.
不要这样
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
这是年度派对 哥们儿
Guys, this is the party of the year, you guys.
是我们的夜晚 我们的
This is our night. This is our night!
我和尼克一起去 你来吗
Im going with Nick, man. You coming?
你们是我小弟 怎么这样啊
I thought you guys were my boys!
没这说法 施密特 别再这样说
"Boys" is not a thing, Schmidt! Stop!
你们还有什么
Do you have anything else
免费的 含面包的
that is free but also has bread in it?
因为 这些我吃的好吃的面包
Because the -- the, like, good bread, I ate,
还有 只剩下
and thats -- all thats left is like a --
只有保健面包了
Its like -- its kind of like a health bread.
很抱歉
Im sorry.
恐怕您得让出桌子了
Were gonna have to ask you to give up the table.
我可以再待一小会儿吗
Can I please just stay just a little bit longer?
我们来了
Were here!
来了
Yeah!
我们来了 杰茜 我们来了
Were here, Jess! Were here.
来约 来约会
Here for the date -- date thing.
你们都是约会她的
Youre all on a date?
是的 我们是她的男朋友
Yeah. We, uh, were her boyfriends.
我们是一妻多夫
We are reverse mormons.
- 一个男人没法满足她 -好吧
- One man just isnt enough for her. -Okay.
杰茜 那男的就一混蛋
Hey, Jess, that guy was a jerk.
跳梁小丑而已
The guys a clown.
你们错过了派对来这里
You guys missed your party to come here and...
见我
see me?
是的 我们关心你
Yeah. We, uh... we care about you.
我们喜欢你
We like you.
你们真是好人
Thats so nice!
这怎么回事
What is that?
- 别哭啊 -拜托
- Dont start crying. - Come on.
你们好酷 真的好酷
Its cool. Its very, very cool.
好了 杰茜 好了
Come on, Jess. Come on.
- 别哭了 -不准哭
- Please -- - Stop it!
没事了 不要哭
Its okay. Hey, dont cry.
我生命中的美好时光
For Ive had the time of my life
他干什么
What is he doing?
我从来没有这种感觉
And Ive never felt this way before
是的 这是真实的
Yes, its true
还有歌词不记得了
And its something something something
我家有大熊啊
Theres bears in my house
这歌儿会让你很开心很开心
And its the song that makes you really, really happy
我不会参与的
Im not, uh, Im not participating in this.
请记得
Just remember
你是唯一
Youre the one thing
我永远都想陪伴
I cant get enough of
我要告诉你
And Ill tell you something
这可能是爱 因为
This could be love, because
- 我拥有了 -拥有
- Ive had - Had
我生命中的美好时光
The time of my life
全因有你
And I owe it all to you
来吧 到什么时光了
Come on! What time is it?!
我生命中的美好时光
The time of my life
请你们出去 现在全部出去
You have to leave -- now. All of you.
你说得对 杰茜 这电影很不错
Youre right, Jess. This movies pretty good.
说真的 谢谢你们今晚做的一切
Seriously, thank you, guys, so much for tonight.
酷得没法说
That was really cool.
听着 杰茜 我知道你现在挺难过的
Listen, Jess, I know youve had a really rough go of it,
我只想让你知道
and...I just want you to know that...
至少对我来说
I mean, for me, at least,
无论怎样
n-no matter what...
我都乐意上你
I would still totally do you.
好感动哦
Oh, thats so sweet.
万死不辞
Yeah. Absolutely.
- 交钱 -对 交钱
- Jar. - Yeah. Jar.
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